Broken...

I'm sitting, drinking my coffee, listening to my husband watch a video from the other room, and something falls off the wall. I quickly looked around to see what had fallen. Randomly, nothing was moved, not a thing bumped the walls, and no sounds that would have shaken the European Mount Deer from its very secure position on the wall. Nevertheless, there it lay in what looked like dozens of pieces.

Now, my family knows me as a Pollyanna. The Oxford Languages on the internet has me pegged completely. "An excessively cheerful or optimistic person" with the following sentence which is so perfect. It states "What I am saying makes me sound like some aging Pollyanna who just wants to pretend that all is sweetness and light". Sounds just like my blogs, right? But I am known to be somewhat of a Pollyanna. I attribute this to the many hardships and situations that I have overcome and the fact that I have faith. Faith that things do work out for the good of those who love the Lord, Romans 8:28. You can always, and I do mean always, find some good in a situation or after the situation. You can always, and I do mean always, see God. I will eventually share many things through this blog that I have overcome. In bits and pieces, you will see why I can truly say that I have overcome and have faith. However, now is about the Broken.

I quietly sit there for a few minutes looking at my deer lying on the floor. The biggest deer I have ever shot. I do love to hunt, but OCD does not allow me to sit there and just spend hours looking quietly in one location. I am constantly picking, moving, re-arranging, thinking and shifting, eating, texting, reading, or anything that will keep my mind occupied. No, not ADHD, but OCD of everything that needs to be done, is not done correctly, needs to be changed, I should be working on, or needs to be fixed. My husband came out of the other room, asked what fell, and we looked at the pieces. To our surprise, the majority of the outside is intact with only a few minor pieces broken. From the outside, it looks pretty good.

Ah, from the outside. You see, all the pieces on the floor were from the inside, pieces that wouldn't be noticed hanging on the wall. You would have to take it down, inspect it, and then see the pieces that are missing. Our life is like those broken pieces. Many of us, from the outside, look pretty good. A few signs here and there, but to those looking from a distance, we are good. Especially a Pollyanna! We seem to have this all figured out. Life! We can handle many things and keep a cheerful outlook. From all those watching, we are wearing this thing called "Life" with only a few minor dents, scrapes, and missing pieces. All-in-all, we look pretty good.

What I love is that God sees the inside. Psalms 139:7 says, "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?". He sees the part of us that is sometimes broken and we can't show it to the world. He sees and cares about what we keep inside because we don't want others to know how much something hurts, our disappointments, frustrations, worries, scars, and fears. God sees those "broken" parts and He loves us anyway. He loves me anyway. I don't have to be a Pollyanna with God because He knows my heart. I Samuel 16:7 "But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” God looks at our hearts, my heart. He knows when I am being strong and when I hurt. He loves me. I am so humbled when I type this. I'm just a simple person, and yet, God sent His son to be born, suffer, and to die for me. He did that for you too. I have to add that there may be people that see us, all of us, but there is only one who looks in the heart and knows us completely. He is our Savior!