Alone...

My heart...

When my youngest son was growing up, he did not have a good high school experience. He was stunted because of medication he took and was very small for his age. Later, when we stopped the medication, he began to grow and "catch up" to his peers. But, he was bullied beyond my comprehension. I didn't know much of this until later after his school days or I assure you that this mama would have been pounding on desks. He was stuffed in toilets, lockers, garbage cans, and even thrown across a row of chairs in band class. He does not reflect on his high school experience in any positive light and refuses to go back to class reunions. He really has very little contact with his peers from that time. It was a painful experience for him.

I had prayed that my grandson, my youngest son's nephew, would not have this experience. I prayed that he would be surrounded by loving classmates, included, and valued. That has not been the case this year. He has shared with me on more than one occasion that he feels alone. He doesn't have friends, and on most days he plays by himself. I ask him what the teachers say. He says they ask him if he is "okay". I tell him to be nice to the other kids and he will make friends. He says, "I am, but they don't want to be my friend." He is in the 3rd grade. I shared this with my husband this past weekend. He and I have had a hard time with this issue because he is our only grandchild and our heart breaks for him. It doesn't seem to be getting any better. He shared with me a month or so ago that some of the kids were "mean to him at lunch". He gets in trouble when he says anything. My nephew and I prayed with him at food pantry where my grandson and I serve. He shared with my grandson that he was treated that way as a child some and he understands. We prayed with him and encouraged him to pray about it. I did the same this past week when my grandson shared his loneliness again. We prayed. We prayed several times. I am praying without cessing that God will send him Godly friends and fill His heart with the knowledge that he is never alone. God is with him.

Now, as an educator, I want to "fix this". I want to go to the school, demand they do something. But, you can't make children play with other children. I want to talk with friends of mine and have their grandchildren play with him. Again, you can't make children play with other kids. He is in sports, but doesn't excel. I watched him warm up in a basketball game last week. One of the other kids on the team was laughing and making fun of him because he missed his lay-up. I didn't say anything, I just watched and my heart ached.

Last weekend at the Women's Conference, the theme was mercy and grace. One of the speakers' overall message was "God is good. God is good to us. God is good at being God". She shared that sometimes we need to take ourselves out of the frame, (My words, not hers.) and relinquish control to our Savior. We need to give him control of the situation and let him work. I feel God telling me to not try to take control of this. Let Him be God. But this is possibly the toughest situation I have had to remove myself and be a spectator.

Proverbs 3:5-6 states,"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." This is complete and utter reliance on the knowledge that God is good at being God. He doesn't need me interfering and taking control. He doesn't need my lack of trust. He needs my obedience. Have you been in a situation where you want to take control? Have you felt the need to let Him work on it, pray, but help Him out a little? I know we all have.

You see, I also know that Matthew 18:19-20 states "Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” So, my praying friends, my fellow Christians, pray with me that God's grace and mercy will fall on this situation. He is always good at being God. He is always faithful and just. There is a lesson in every situation, a purpose under Heaven for everything. I will trust him and obey.