Regrets...

Looking Back...

I know there are things in life many people regret. As you know from previous posts, I was a foster child. I went into the system later in life, at 16. I was kicked out into the big wide world at 18. I learned that making mistakes and having regrets do one of two things. The lessons we learn, the hard way, either keep you locked up in a world of repetitive cycles or you grow. You accept the mistakes, learn from those mistakes, and move forward determined to ensure that the mistake is not repeated. God uses those events to move us toward purposeful service.

As a foster child, I was placed in a couple of homes until I was moved from the area. I was then placed in a home with a couple in their mid-50s. This woman would later become my "mom" and adopt me before her death when I was 37 years old. That is a story for another blog. This woman had older children who had families of their own. I never formed what I would have liked, a close relationship with all my new brothers and sisters. I strive for that even now. However, there is one thing that one of my brothers told me once that has always stuck with me. On a rare occasion when my brother, a sister, and I were driving back from somewhere. We began talking and I mentioned I had so many regrets. I will paraphrase his response. He pointed to the rear-view mirror and then the large front glass. He said that if you look at the rear-view mirror, you only see a small rectangle. There is only a tiny mirror in which to see behind us, what was. The window forward in the car is much larger. We should look forward at the world around us where we have new opportunities to change instead of looking back through a tiny window that only shows a small image of what cannot be changed. Wow! There was my Wow moment. I have thought of that so many times in my life from that point forward. When I look back, I take my eyes off the future God has and the lessons he has given me to learn and grow.

I identify with Peter in so many ways. Peter loved Jesus. He committed himself to Jesus and wanted to fulfill his purpose. Many commentators I have read call Peter, outspoken, "unofficial leader of the disciples," loyal, and, yes, a sinner. I see Peter as human. He tried to go to Jesus in the rough seas. Quickly getting out of the boat and for a short distance, walking on the water. But, Peter took His eyes off Jesus. He wanted with his heart to obey, but his fears or doubts got in the way. I do that too. I want so much to be a servant, but I let the doubts or fears intrude and then I take my eyes off Jesus.

I know Peter had to have had regrets. During the Last Supper, Jesus tells Peter that he will deny Him. Peter was adamant he would not deny Jesus. Luke 22:31-34 says, “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” Peter said to him, “Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death.” Jesus said, “I tell you, Peter, the rooster will not crow this day until you deny three times that you know me.” I know Peter immediately regretted what he had done when he heard the cock crow and he remembered Jesus' words. Luke 22:62 states, "And Peter went out, and wept bitterly." Denying Jesus was a mistake Peter would not make again. He knew his fear and taking his eyes off Jesus led to what must have been his regret. We all have them. God took that mistake that Peter made, strengthened him, and used him for the rest of his life as a faithful servant. God can take the mistakes we make, and the regrets we have, and use those to teach us, help us grow, and become His faithful servants.