Bitter…

Bitter…7-19-25

My youngest son has a tender heart. He loves deeply and hurts deeply. He has attended church his entire life up until about 10 years ago. He quit going. I know some reasons, but not all. He would give his shirt for anyone in need. He has a motto, “Don’t be Bitter, be better!” I understand this as he was horribly bullied as a child and teenager. His high school days were filled with being stuffed in lockers, head first in toilets, trash cans, thrown across chairs, and other things that I am learning about over time. He has zero good memories of school. When contacted about his high school reunion, he did not hesitate to say “No!” To me that is sad because I had prayed my sons would have a different experience than I. Although, the extent of his suffering was far worse than mine. Many friends and relatives would not stand up for him. It took his cousin, who is now deceased, to meet one particular boy behind the gym with a stern warning to get some semblance of relief for my son. His treatment in kindergarten is the reason I became a teacher. I wanted children with ADHD, OCD, ODD, and other acronyms that many don’t understand, to know that they were loved. I have always tried to be patient and kind. I pray for my students daily.

A couple of days ago, I received a phone call for help. A family with a newborn in the Children’s Hospital broke down and couldn’t get back to the hospital to their new baby. I knew who I could call because I know his heart. He immediately went into action, arranged for Uber for the parents back to the hospital, towed their vehicle to a shop, and began the process of getting it fixed.

As I type this, tears come to my eyes at the knowledge that he has been hurt by so many and is hurting again now. He told me again. My motto is, “Don’t be bitter, be better!” He doesn’t acknowledge, but this is forgiveness. This is the meaning of forgiving. You don’t hold grudges. You don’t keep harboring hate. You forgive, and rise above. I know God is in that ability. As humans, we can’t do that without Him.

Ephesians 4:31-32: "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

You see, forgiveness is also recognizing that we all have sin within our life in some area. We cannot judge someone by sins. That is for God alone. We are not bitter in the unforgiveness. We are better in recognizing that we must move on, not harbor hate, and love. I thank God my son is loving the way Christ commands. I know works won’t get us to Heaven, as does he. Ephesians 2:8-9, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God not by works, so that no one can boast.” He doesn’t boast of helping others, he quietly does. He doesn’t hesitate to love, but does guard his heart.

Proverbs 14:10: "Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares its joy." But as for my son and I, we choose not to be bitter, but to be better.