He made me that way...

He made me that way...5-13-25

When I began this blog, I committed to ensuring that I wouldn't treat this as a Facebook for airing any public disagreement or speaking ill of anyone. I have tried to make sure that every blog has been something I can be proud to share with others and is led by God. I have felt for quite some time that this is an important topic. I will address this delicately because I know that what I want to say is pleasing to God. Like everything in this blog, this is how I am handling my life and what has been my life since birth.

You see, I haven't quite figured out how some people can just choose to be ugly to others. As a child and as an adult, I have faced ugly and forgave. I have two different sets of people who, for some reason, do not care for me. It would be easy to say that I can stay away from those people, but that is not possible. I almost feel like Trump in that just the sight of me brings out the worst. No matter what I do, how I react, how much I love, and how much I accept, it is not the right thing and not good enough. As one of my unwelcoming people said on one occasion, the sight of me just "galls them." People call that Trump Derangement Syndrome. I think they have Mary Derangement Syndrome or MDS. That's what I will call it.

I have prayed for almost 40 years for this to change. It has not. Every time it happens, every time they come face to face with me and will not look at me, speak when I speak, won't even make eye contact, answer when I reach out, or accept my love, it hurts a little more. My son and husband tell me not to let it affect me and to accept that is how they are. I can't act like that. I pray, and this is the answer I get when I ask God to make it not hurt and toughen me. He says, "That's not how I made you." I literally heard those words this morning when I talked about it with my son.

You see, it happened again last night with one group. It happened on Mother's Day with the other. I know that God wants us to love as He loved. I know that God wants us to take care of our own hearts and not worry about others. I know these things, and I try to follow Him with my whole heart. I can't see how anyone can be of God and not act like God. I don't understand obedience without love. The greatest commandment is love. Matthew 22:36-39 says, “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.’"

I am writing this because I want my grandson to read this when he is older. I want him to know that his Moppy struggled with understanding human nature and love. I want him to know that not giving love is not "How God made me." He made me love as He loved. He made me care. He made me to be an example to other Christians. I want him to understand that he will face those things as well. I want my grandson to know that we are all made in Christ's image, and He loves us. He loved to the point of death. He loved to the point of rising from the grave, and He loves us so much that He will come back again. That is what matters. How people treat others is a reflection of their love for Christ.

In the meantime, when it happens again, and it will happen again as it has been happening for 40 years, I will probably cry as I did last night. I will probably wonder why I can't be loved and accepted. I will most definitely not understand the hatred. But, and I say, But God...I will continue to love because "He made me that way..."