It’s A Brain Thing…

It’s A Brain Thing…

I am fascinated with clouds. As a child, I would lay on the ground and watch clouds. I could see in them animals, objects, buildings, and faces. I could be transported from the world around into a fairytale world through the simple fluffy puffs within the sky. Thunderstorm clouds are no different. When the thunder rumbles in the distance, I will sit on my porch and watch as the storm gathers. The skies transform and the clouds come alive. I breathe in the air charged with electrical currents that smells of the impending rain. Understanding always dawns that with the storm, comes the calm. The hand of God protecting all.

I have a brain thing. Well my husband and friends would say I have several brain things, but that is another blog. I have migraine aphasia or transient aphasia. When the trigger to my migraines come, thunderstorms, barometric pressure changes, I suffer from the migraine variant of aphasia, difficulty finding and verbalizing speech. Words don’t come, I say wrong words, and sometimes garble when I speak. Usually within 30 minutes, the migraine comes with nausea, photosensitivity, and other symptoms.

Today, was one of those days. One of those days that I could feel coming. One of those days that I would love to cover my head and hide. I don’t though, never have, just keep going. You see, what I don’t tell people about the migraines is that it also comes with an emotional component. With the pain and symptoms, comes the tears and feeling bad. People who suffer with migraines have a higher risk of suffering depression, anxiety and with migraine sufferers is the higher likelihood that person suffered early childhood trauma, ADD, or OCD. Check, check, check, check, and check!

When I do have migraines, which have increased this past year, the devil attacks. He hammers hard. He attacks my areas of vulnerability, my insecurities. The devil tells me, and I sometimes listen, that I am too much. I am annoying. I am in the way. That people are tired of me. He plays on self-pity, I know God sees me, but I don’t see me the way my Father does. Today, I reached out to a dear friend when self doubt came. The first time I have done this. As I sat alone, tears flowed, as I texted her. Most of the time, it is sometimes days before she texts back as she is very busy and not like some of us, cell phone bound. But today, God knew, and she texted immediately. She told me how God sees me, and she reminded me of His love and hers. She did something else, she reminded me that others are attacked as well. Oh, she didn’t tell me to suck it up, that I’m not alone. She told me how the devil attacks her and offered advise in remembering how we are seen in His eyes.

My point here is this. We don’t see inside, we see the outward. God sees inside. 1 Samuel 16:7, “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.’” God sees that it is a Brain thing, but He is very concerned about our Heart things. He wants to know that our hearts are broken for Him and made new. Our pastor told us this morning of when he gave his heart to God. A simple act that is the most difficult because we guard our hearts with a fierceness. When we give ourselves to God, He looks at the heart of man. It no longer is a brain thing. 1 Peter 3:3, “But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.”