The Apple and the Tree...

The Apple and the Tree...5-1-25

There are a lot of people who use the phrase, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." I do not agree with this. In fact, I bristle every time I hear it. But as a Christian, I have to look at this phrase differently now. I believe that every single person has the ability to make or change their direction in life. I also don't make excuses for behavior. Yes, I have made them in the past, but not anymore. I do feel like circumstances sometimes dictate actions, but in the long run, we are responsible for those actions. We can't control the circumstances, but we can control how we act.

That being said. I agree with the theory of nature vs. nurture. It is well known that a child taken out of their original environment can grow and thrive with very few of the characteristics, mannerisms, and patterns of those in the initial environment. The environment and nurturing play an important role in the development of the child. Yes, a child born to someone else has their biological genetics. At some point, the child reaches the age of accountability, and the choices, excuses, and habits they form are their own. The phrase made when a young adult messes up that "the apple didn't fall far from the tree" can be true in some cases, but it is definitely not true in all cases. Some parents will work to ensure their child has and is disciplined, has love, and is exposed to the spiritual and physical needs. When the child grows up, sometimes they will move so far beyond what is the norm for their upbringing that it leaves the parents shaking their heads. I often hear, "We didn't teach them that." "He was taught not to do that." "Where did this come from? It wasn't allowed in our home." Yet, society blames the parents for the sins of the child.

I was 16 when I was put into foster care. 16 years of every type of abuse imaginable. 16 years of an environment that had been ingrained in me. 16 years of watching a biological mother with manic depression sleep on the couch. 16 years of fearing for my safety and sanity with a biological father who chose only me out of the four of us to abuse. 16 years of coming home each day to cook, clean, do chores, wash clothes outside, haul water, and do homework. Depending on the season, I would have additional responsibilities such as hoeing the garden, chopping wood, and working at whatever new job my biological father took on. You see any job he took on, my brothers and I participated in such as making willow furniture, hauling pulpwood, selling watermelons, or picking onions in California. My sister was always in her own little world with her baby dolls, even as a young adult. She was mentally disabled. No birthday parties. No after-school sports. No Little League. No school events. No sports where I had to travel. The church attendance was off and on, and mostly when a bus would pick us up. Everything was controlled so that no one would know what was happening at home. That was until I was 16 and one counselor requested to see me, then everything in my environment changed.

Let's look at that apple. Now, stay with me here, I know this one is long. Let's suppose that a lonely apple fell from a crooked, withered tree. This was a tree that was not much to look at and couldn't provide enough nutrients for many apples. The environment was poor for growth, and the apples produced didn't have what they needed to grow and mature. It couldn't sustain many apples, and the apples that grew on this tree were not of good quality. Then a hungry little squirrel seeking food wandered by and saw that apple, picked it up between its teeth, and began to run. It ran so far and so fast that it lost its way and came to another area far from the initial apple tree. Hungry, the squirrel sat down and ate that apple, with the seeds falling to the ground. The seeds became embedded in the soil and took root. The apple tree received different nourishment and began to grow. The sun shone, and the apple tree thrived. Psalm 1:3, "That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—whatever they do prospers." In a different environment, the apple tree continued to grow and produce many apples. Because of the nourishment, it became strong. Cared for by everything surrounding it, the apple tree grew just like my grandson's apple trees in the photo above.

That apple was me, and that new environment was my life. But that nourishment was God. In John 6:35, "Jesus said to them, 'I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst." You see, my choices and my life start with my environment. But God, God is the nourishment and the life that sustains me. When we accept God into our lives, we realize that He is our nourishment, our bread. In Him, we choose to trust and be fed by His word. We prosper by His grace and His mercies. No, we don't always have everything our heart desires, but we do have what we need. Now I can say, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Because my tree is God, my Father, and I am the apple, His daughter.