Which hand?

Which Hand?..7-23-25

I have heard many people talk about PTSD. I always thought of PTSD as something people in the military had and wasn't common for others. Wrong! Post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD, is a mental health condition caused by a traumatic event or extremely stressful situation in which the memory of the event or triggers can cause flashbacks, anxiety, nightmares, sleep problems, eating disorders, mood disturbances, and a host of other issues.

Many people who suffer from PTSD don’t really even know they have it. They go on about life after the event, but have triggers that cause issues to arise. My issue was nightmares, one recurring dream in particular, and anxiety. The eating disorder was a secondary issue that was enhanced during the flare-ups of PTSD. I had counseling when I was put into foster care. I just couldn’t open up to the therapist. My whole world had changed, and I didn’t have words to explain how I was feeling inside. I remember sitting on the couch in his office. He would beg me to talk to him, and the words wouldn’t come.

A few years ago, I experienced a trigger and my PTSD went into full effect. Only, I didn’t know it was PTSD. Things throughout my lifetime had brought on symptoms, but I had no idea, and didn’t even remotely think it could be PTSD. I turned to a Christian lady who I had met. She owned a counseling center with her husband. I knew her heart. I asked to talk to her. I finally understood that I had to reach out. A ministroke, weight loss, anxiety attacks, sleepless nights, heart problems, and emotional swings were overwhelming. I know God sent her my way. I know He intervened.

I Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” God knew that it would take bringing me to my knees for me to realize that only He could do what I had tried so often. Only He could calm my fears, put my worries aside, and put peace in my life. I had tried in so many things and failed, because I did not rely on God for all things. I still had the voice inside screaming to get out. Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." 

What my friend told me about placing our situations in life into one of two hands, I will never forget. When something arises, place it in one of two hands. On the left, what you cannot control and let it go. On the right, what you can work on, and affect with your intentions and actions. My husband will frequently ask me, “Which hand?”

You see, it really isn’t which hand, it is whose hand! The hands of God. Isaiah 41:10: "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” The Bible has many verses on God’s hand. Psalm 139:10, Isaiah 49:26, and Psalm 37:24. "Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; for the Lord upholds him with His hand." I have come to realize that it is in those nail-scarred hands that I want to be held. I want to be continually strengthened by His grip. I know even if I make mistakes, and even if I fall, He will reach down and lift me up. Now, I know which hand!