Why am I afraid?

Moving Forward

Spoiler,this is long and God wins I have put this blog off for awhile. This is personal, as are all my blogs. However, I believe there are others that face what I face. I struggle with making changes.

I am and always have been a creature of habit. I stayed in my home environment for 16 years before I told anyone. My husband and I dated 5 years. I stayed in my first job for 18 years before I made a move to complete my education. I then stayed at the first school who hired me for 21 years. Let me insert here that they were good to me and I really enjoyed my job. However, I had opportunities to move to other districts. Was actually hired by another and I backed out. I had opportunities to do other things within education. I kept forwarding my education, but couldn't make changes in my career. I was afraid. Same room, same school, same faces, same content, same responsibilities, and the same expectations.

You see, when you don't make changes, you don't face failures. Oh sure, there are day-to -day struggles. Struggles and career difficulties are different in a new environment or with new responsibilities and new people. With the comfortable, you can manipulate, alter, correct, and re-arrange issues within your little scope. No major worries there.

I prayed and prayed, began to apply and apply. Then I made the move when God opened the door. I do not regret all the decisions made during my two short years as an administrator. What I do regret is allowing the devil to use my situations as a child and one individual who knew some of this to change my views of who I was. I allowed the devil to use words spoken through manipulation and evil to enter my views of me and my heart. When my purpose was complete, I went back to the comfortable.

I firmly believe I answered God's call. I completed His request of me. But the price I allowed the devil to have on my life was monumental. Look at me today, look at me 2 1/2 years ago. Hospital, heart attack, stroke, 80 pounds and definite health issues that will be with me the remainder of my life unless God intervenes, which He can.

I went back to the comfortable. I pray for eyes to see where and what I am called to do. Am I to stay in the comfortable the remainder of my career? Is there an opportunity He has waiting that I will know later?

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." God did not harm me. The devil did and God allowed this to make me stronger. It built me into the woman I am with the understanding I have.

The point here is that God has opportunities to serve Him. It may be in the comfortable. However, it could be opportunities that in order for us to complete we must move forward. We must move out of the comfortable into the unknown. We can refuse to move forward because of our fear or we can walk in faith knowing God does truly have us in His hands.

As I'm typing, my husband is cooking breakfast. He begins to play "Truth" by Megan Woods. Wow! I don't belong to the lies, I belong to You. I know I can do all things through God who strengthens me. I was made in the image of a perfect King. I know who I am because I know who He is. Listen to this song. I know moving forward I will not be afraid!